Investment

She told me I was investing in my children, what a comforting thought.

I’ve been little more than a mother for five years, and at times it’s felt like I’ve sacrificed my own happiness for my children’s joy. Was this an investment?

Part of the problem, for me, is my lack of acceptance for what is. Too often I’m looking towards the future, dreaming of some better day. Being alone with my babies gave my mind time to wander and wallow; apparently feeling sorry for myself comes naturally to me.

Have I given up my identity for these children? Have I used up my best years and thrown away my time just to hold and snuggle babies? Have I made my children the center of my universe?

In a capitalist society, our worth is often measured by our productivity. Children are not seen as valuable creations, and so raising them is not viewed as worth much. When it comes to worth, money should not be the deciding factor, yet often this is how we measure our lives.

My net worth was zero, or so it seemed.

Investing in my children. The words bounced in my head and brought a smile to my face. Yes, finally someone who understands. My children are more than just people, they are my true legacy. Through them I can heal generational wounds. As they grow and begin to truly impact the world, they will carry these early experiences with them.

Being able to teach my children how to live a good life, something I’ve only just discovered myself, carries small but powerful rewards.

I have learned so much from them, like how to slow down time and appreciate the little wonders in life.

I hope to teach them about the world, and the future I want for them. I pray my children grow up with the emotional strength to take it all on, so that as they enter adulthood they don’t have to first undo all the damage done to them.

I want them to have a better start in life than I did. Perhaps someday, instead of needing to finally learn some emotional intelligence, my adult child may be ready to take on some of the greatest challenges of our time.

Or perhaps the they will simply be more compassionate and accepting than those who came before them.

All I want is their happiness; I want my children to flourish.

Investing those years, so much attention and care, has taught me more about myself than all the years before children.

To see yourself through a child’s eyes is to see yourself before society changed you.

Yes, I did invest in them. I invested in their hearts, hoping to fill them with loving stability. I invested in their education, teaching them my values and beliefs while exploring the world. I’ve invested in their emotional wellbeing, helping them learn mindfulness so that their soul’s can shine through.

I’ve taught them how to pray, open their hearts to the heavens, and say thank you for this abundant life we share.

Yes, I’ve invested in my children. I’ve invested in their future, hoping they can be the change we desperately need. I’ve invested in their journey, because now I know my life is about so much more than just me. I’ve also invested in myself, because dedicating my time to others has taught me what it really means to love unconditionally.

Yes, I’ve spent years away from the workforce, doing the difficult and often thankless job of raising children, and it’s the best investment I’ve ever made.

Thank you, divine universe, for reminding me of my worth.